A Nigerian Facebook user, Daniel Chukwuemeka, has taken to his page to
recount how his neighbour, gave birth to her baby in his car.
He wrote:
“I was not fast asleep. But I was hearing the first set
of gentle knocks on my door in my dreams. Kpam Kpam Kpam Kpam, Daniel
o…repeatedly. Later I would deem whoever was knocking that way as
unserious. How could such knocks wake me up? But I have just slept off
an hour before then.
So I was woken up immediately the knock got louder. I rushed out,
hearing the cries for help. She was already in labour—my neighbour. My
God! I saw the baby’s head pushing itself out of my neighbour’s
privates. She was fast losing blood, as they kept flowing
uncontrollably. As if that was not enough a strange sight for me, I saw
that white, long thing they call umbilical cord. Damn it! That was
actually when the baby had completely come out.
Chai. Poor child. Crying. We didn’t know what to do. I was clueless.
Her friend—a young lady—was clueless too. There was no other
neighbour available. And it was already 01:05 am. But that my neighbour,
ba? She was a strong woman.
She kept reassuring her panic-stricken friend to stop shouting, re
affirming that she’d be fine. She was even the one that suggested we go
to a nearby hospital. Olodo like me, I couldn’t even think of any
meaningful thing to do.
My head was full. But she was strong. We carried her down to my car,
carrying the baby alongside, careful not to draw the umbilical cord too
apart from her.
Chai. Blood. She lost a lot of blood. I gently drove us to a nearby
hospital. The staff responded quickly. The cord was cut while she was
still in the car. The baby survived. The mother survived too. I went
back home later and got them some clothes, and tea, milk, bread and hot
water for the mother.
This is what I call miracle. Not turning water into wine. In this
part of the world, we say “Thank God” for even things we can do
ourselves. So for the first time in my life, I’ll do this, because I am
overwhelmed:
Thank God for my neighbour’s strong resolve in the face of hysteria;
Thank God for the mechanic guy that didn’t tell me stories yesterday,
but promptly worked on the car’s fan belt, making the car available;
Thank God for the staff of Divine Mercy Hospital and Maternity, Orba
road, Nsukka, especially the gate man, for their immediate response to
our call for help;
And finally, thank God for giving us humans all that we need to survive
the pestilence and pains He also created on earth, for surely He created
all things. Amen!
I learnt a few things:
1. A pregnant woman shouldn’t be left alone. I used to say I’d run
out of home when my wife gets heavy, to avoid a pregnant woman’s wahala.
Dear future wife, I have changed my mind.
I now understand what you women go through. I’ll be there, through it
all. No business trips. No conferences or seminar. In fact no work for
me. I’ll be there. We will do it together. After all, we had sex
together (whatever that means).
2. I think one should always have fuel in one’s car. Anything can
happen any time. And no petrol station might be available at that time.
3. Do not overlook the importance of neighbourliness. And if your
neighbour is one who hardly responds to knocks on his/her door (like my
former useless neighbour), declare such a neighbour as useless to
humanity.
Finally, women, please accept the assurances of my ernest respect for
your natural abilities. Truly, there’s more to your privates than just
sexual activity.
PS: the head nurse said I’d make a good father, because of the way I was in charge. Is that true? I mean, why not?


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