Approaching someone for either the first or umpteenth time
and stating what’s on your mind requires some confidence whether the
person in question is a girl you spotted at the mall, your
neighbourhood, your office, your boss or a political figure.
All you need to do is to master the approach and follow some guidelines that can make the exercise a successful one.
Know When To Approach
Knowing when to approach is perhaps the first step in talking
confidently and getting a good response. Read the countenance and body
language of who you want to talk to and disarm them with a compliment
that would soften their demeanour. Words like “You look happy today” or
“That’s a nice shirt you’re wearing” will illicit a positive response
that can get a conversation started in a nice way.
Be Ready To Listen
Listening is an underestimated part of conversation and doing it can
be a difficult task if you’re unable to settle your nerves. You can
listen well by asking questions from the answers you’re given from
previous questions. For instance, if you ask them if they got the nice
shoes they were wearing when they travelled to the United Kingdom, you
can follow up with questions related to where they visited and if they
enjoyed the trip.
Keep The Conversation Open
Questions that will simply require a Yes or No answer is not
appropriate to inspire confidence as they will most likely shut down the
conversation. It’s best to stick to open-ended questions that can give
you an inclination of the other person’s personality. You should however
avoid endless string of inquiries about work, as most people are happy
to leave their work life behind them. Questions like “What’s your
favourite blog?”, “What music do you listen to?”, “What magazines do you
read?”, or “What’s keeping you busy at the moment?” can help to
maintain a conversation.
Talk About Yourself
Another good way to inspire confidence in your conversations is to
talk about yourself. Your experiences with sports, travel, books, music
should be put into play. Talk about your passions enthusiastically and
you’d be confident with whatever course the conversation takes. You
should however avoid talking about yourself too much. Going on endlessly
about yourself can be a turn-off, and as such, you should know when to
shut up. You can avoid this by asking questions and making the
conversation a two-way street instead of being the only one talking and
meeting a brick wall.
Be Up To Date
Be current about happenings in all parts of the world even if all you
know about them are snippets. Have a basic understanding of the world
around you and that will come to play in the course of conversations as
you will be able to find common interests in film, music, television and
politics in time.
Stick To Boundaries
There are certain things you should never share at the beginning with
people. Oversharing about your political beliefs or some messy
information regarding your family can be miserable for the other person.
Spare them the misery and know your boundaries. Be able to decipher
their body language and see the things that they are comfortable with
and the ones that they would rather not hear.
Avoid Certain Topics
Certain Topics can dampen your spirit and have you low on morale when
the reactions from the other person is less than interesting. Topics
like money, religion, and sex are ones that you should stay off because
they are likely to bring up judgmental comments which can dampen the
conversation.
Have A Strategy To Quit The Conversation
One of the most awkward things that destroys confidence during
conversations, is how to exit when the small talk has dried up without
hurting anyone’s feelings. A good exit strategy is saying something like
“I’ve really got to catch my boss before he leaves” this can help you
make a clean break without feeling awkward that you’re ditching them.


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