MUST READ: Knowing to Love Yourself

Coming to terms with parts of ourselves that we feel uncomfortable with is essential in creating healthy
and loving   relationships  with others. We often keep certain aspects of ourselves hidden when we feel they would make us unlovable. These feelings may stem from current or past dysfunctional patterns that we repeatedly engaged in. The problem comes in when we try to ignore or disown these negative feelings; it creates an imbalance. Life is not about revealing only part of yourself, it seeks to create equilibrium. With this, we can sort out our feelings and learn to love ourselves fully and unconditionally (yes, that includes the good, bad, and ugly parts too). Then, we can experience the wonderful effect this has on creating healthier  relationships  in our lives. Here are some ways to begin loving yourself to better  relationships  today:
1. Confront Your Denials. An essential part of loving yourself is looking at yourself with pure honesty. This means that you should also look at your  relationships  objectively. What patterns or reoccurring themes can you see? Do you have any areas of success? How do you deal with problems? Take a look at yourself and see if you are in denial about certain issues or problems, or even put blame on your current or previous partners. Take responsibility for the role you play in your  relationships , and move towards developing a healthier  relationship  with yourself first. Confronting your own denials is the first and most essential step to growth, and unconditional love.
2. Silence Your Inner Critic. Many, if not most of us, have an inner critic akin to a mental bully, who seems to find happiness in creating negative ideas about ourselves. The critic sounds off when positive things occur. It often redirects our thoughts toward negativity – effectively ruining the joy of any good experience. This mental bully must be stopped. If left to its own devices, little by little the inner critic chips away at our self-esteem. Stop the mental abuse, and silence your inner critic today. It feels delightfully liberating!
3. Discover Your Inner Resources. Once the mental bully or inner critic has been silenced, you can now take full benefit of the healthy resources already available to you. Anything goes here, from modelling healthy people that you know, to finding inner spiritual guidance. Use techniques like meditation, positive self talk, yoga, and prayer. Practice these techniques daily and continue to find new ways to connect with yourself.
4. Nurture Yourself And Be Your Own Best Friend. If there are parts of yourself from your past or present that make you feel embarrassed, ashamed, or inadequate, treat these parts with warmth, nurturing, and love. These aspects of yourself need the healing power of your love the most.
Take the time to create an honest and open  relationship  with yourself. Be a good friend yourself, and accept who you really are. Learn to acknowledge your inner strength and rediscover self-love! Don’t forget that no one else can love a part of you that you chose to keep hidden. You have to learn to love and appreciate all aspects of who you are, so that others can love and support you unconditionally. Be kind, patient, and forgiving while challenging yourself to grow. It is only through this process of loving yourself unconditionally that you can find the healthy companionship and genuinely loving  relationships  with others that you seek.