Online dating has both advantages and disadvantages and you need to
weigh them in light of your reality so that you can decide if this
something that you want to invest your time and emotions in.
The advantages are;
a. One of the greatest advantages of online dating is the variety
that is available at your fingertips. There are sites catering to every
taste and persuasion and you can specifically search for the type of
relationship and man that you want. The beauty lies in the fact that you
can specify what you want in terms of faith, geographical location,
race, age group, how much he earns etc; and you can also get an idea of
what the man looks like from his profile picture (or pictures). It’s
wonderful….like a supermarket shelf full of men!
b. Another advantage of online dating is that it is non-
threatening. It is so much easier to write to a stranger that you met
online then to walk up to the same guy at the supermarket and start a
conversation. It is so much less threatening if he turns you down online
compared to when he turns you down face-to-face. I don’t know why but
it just is.
c. The conversation flows so much more easily with an online
relationship as opposed to face-to-face dating. For some reason our
inhibitions drop and we are able to write and to come across as smarter
or funnier then when we are face to face. I guess the fact that you
don’t have to deal with his physical presence allows you to concentrate
on only writing, giving you some really good results (so to speak).
d. An online relationship progresses much faster than a traditional
relationship since we have a tendency to share much more as we are
inclined to spend a lot more time online with each other. Even when we
are doing something else we can keep in touch and are able to share with
him throughout the day. This builds a sense of intimacy very quickly.
The disadvantages are;
a. Sham people! The greatest danger of online dating is that you
are really open to being conned. An experienced conman can take
advantage of you especially because your constant communication gives
you the illusion that you really know him. You need to remember that
‘who he presents himself as’ is not always ‘who he really is says he’.
Of course this can also happen with a guy you met at the supermarket but
it is magnified with online dating. His whole profile could be a
forgery while if you had met him in the traditional way, you would at
least know what he looks like physically. The problem here is that all
the information you have about him has come from him…as the relationship
progresses you will need to find information about him from other
sources. Being careful to ensure that these are sources which he cannot
manipulate.
The beauty of online dating is the variety, how anonymous it is and
the freedom that it affords but these same attributes are what make it
dangerous. To have a great online relationship the advantages you enjoy
because of your special circumstances need to far out-weigh the
disadvantage and now that you know the dangers you can take steps to
minimize them.

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