A must read: Why Married Men Cheat – The Truth May Shock You

Some people will complain that “all men cheat” or that it’s just hard-coded into their genetics. However, these sweeping generalization are usually no more than the diatribes of the bitter and
scorned. If you’ve been cheated on, it may make you feel better to say something like this, but deep down you know it isn’t true.
Not all men cheat, and despite the fact that men may be biologically inclined to enjoy s*xual activity you know that we’re not just the victims of genetics. We each have our own free will and the ability to make decisions on our own.
So what makes a man decide to cheat on his wife?
Well, first of all, if you’re in the “bitter and scorned” category of women, you need to come back to reality here. Affairs hurt, I won’t deny that, but you can’t pretend that you are 100% innocent of doing anything that may have contributed to the affair.
It’s easy to blame others when things don’t work out in your life, but it takes real courage and maturity to at least entertain the idea that you may hold some responsibility for what happened. That’s not to say that it’s your fault. This isn’t about blame. This is about realizing that a relationship involves two people and if one person decides to have an affair, then something in that relationship wasn’t working.
What I’m trying to say is that both you and your husband share at least responsibility for letting the relationship deteriorate to the point where he had an affair. I’m not trying to justify his actions here, not by a long shot. He ultimately made the decision to have the affair. That was his choice. But both of you created a relationship where he felt that having an affair was the only way he could get his needs met.
That’s right, affairs happen because one person doesn’t feel as if they are getting their needs met in the relationship. Maybe there hasn’t been good communication between the two of you. Maybe there was a lot of emotional neglect and distance. Maybe it was something else. But your husband felt as though something he needed was missing in your marriage.
Instead of choosing to deal with the problems in the relationship, he felt that it would be easier to look outside of the relationship to get his needs met. This is ultimately what caused the affair.
Then along came the other woman. Something about her hit him in just the right way. She had some quality about her that met the needs he had that weren’t getting fulfilled in your relationship. That’s when his infatuation with her began. Then one thing leads to another, and he’s having an affair with her. Chances are good that he didn’t intend on having the affair, it’s just that things slowly escalated between the two of them.
I know that dealing with an affair in your marriage isn’t easy, but if you’re going to get past this, you need to be willing to take responsibility for the things you did or didn’t do in your relationship that let it suffer to the point where your husband had an affair. When you can do this, you can really open yourself and your relationship for genuine healing and give it a real shot at recovering.